Each person who comes into our lives is for a purpose. As we gather experiences, we lear. Each person has or had positive influences on our lives. Hold on to that, and forget the rest. Forgive and live and love now.
Through experience, you gain competence, which of course will also make you feel good. I know how to swim, ski, ride a bike, play soccer, etc. I feel good doing all of these. But I don't constantly have to be doing ANY of these to feel good about myself. So how the can I feel good about myself then, if I'm not doing them? I'm sitting here behind a keyboard and I feel a million bucks. What's the logical reason for this?
Of course my ability to do these is based on a psychological construct, otherwise I wouldn't even be able to walk, talk... anything.
Sometimes I feel good because I'm in the moment, mindfully immersed in what I'm doing. I'm not thinking of the past or future, because that'll take away my awareness from the moment. Being in the moment (being immersed in the moment) makes you feel good, regardless of what the moment is. It is about allowing awareness and unity of mind to exist. This is the core of self-esteem. Self-esteem is not a THING t…
I guess it's that fear of the unknown that keeps us hanging on to hope that the last person we were with will change and things can work out for us afterall. Even if in our hearts we know that person is no good for us there is a part that tells us as bad as this person is for us at least we know what it is we got. This is called living in the past instead of facing the present - the reality at hand.. it is fear of the unknown. We're afraid of the present or, more importantly.. ourselves (our inability to stand sufficiently alone because of our own weaknesses). The inablity to "let go" is your attachment/craving of that individual. That comes from your own weakness, fears, and insecurities. That "person" so to speak... masked things that are broken and that need fixing. Your resistance to the current moment, what it says about your character, and the change it subtly dictates is necessary in your life is what makes things hard.
White knights and feminists want you to think that working out problems will result in a strong relationship with your partner. This couldn't be further from the truth. Although you may be able to resolve arguments and issues you need to ask yourself a question, why do they arise?
Perhaps there truly is a valid conflict at hand, and that it must be resolved. But 95% of the time, it's complete and utter irrelivance. Silly bickering that has no core issue. Unjust arguments, sparked by the urge to corrupt the other's resolve. So what changed, why did a perfectly good relationship turn sour? What flew out the window, that held the Jenga tower of love together?
Respect. That's what's missing.
I believe this is the single most important trait in a relationship. With respect comes trust, and admiration. Key pillars to upholding a strong bond between a couple. The second respect is lost, then that is the moment things begin to go downhill. When disrespect rear…