Why is it so hard for some people to let go?

I guess it's that fear of the unknown that keeps us hanging on to hope that the last person we were with will change and things can work out for us afterall. Even if in our hearts we know that person is no good for us there is a part that tells us as bad as this person is for us at least we know what it is we got. This is called living in the past instead of facing the present - the reality at hand.. it is fear of the unknown. We're afraid of the present or, more importantly.. ourselves (our inability to stand sufficiently alone because of our own weaknesses). The inablity to "let go" is your attachment/craving of that individual. That comes from your own weakness, fears, and insecurities. That "person" so to speak... masked things that are broken and that need fixing. Your resistance to the current moment, what it says about your character, and the change it subtly dictates is necessary in your life is what makes things hard.

Pain is an indication that you need to change and adapt to the environment around you.

If we choose to move on and develop a new relationship it is possible that new person could turn out to be 1000 times worse than what we had. It's that fear that keeps many of us from letting go of someone who is bad for us and moving oin to what could possibly be a much better relationship than any we ever had
This is called living in the future. What your doing is taking the weaknesses, fears, and insecurities stated above and projecting them on the future. Once again, you're resisting the present which is exacerbating your own suffering. Doing this will almost certainly recreate the pain you've already been through in the past. Dealing with the current reality of the present sufficiently and honestly is the only real solution.

When people hit rock bottom with their EX's, they are usually looking for answers or someone to blame,but most of them don't realize that their reactions to things was merely a projection of their own weaknesses. The only way forward is to be brutally honest with yourself.


Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." I think its better to say, "The unexamined life leads to continual suffering."


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