Real Love Pt. 2
As a continuation of my older post.. I definitely believe that true love exists, but it's not the Disney fair tales that are fed to us as children. Real love takes hard work and dedication and in my opinion is very rewarding and worth it if you find the right person. It's a bond/friendship, it's having a deep relationship with someone and being there to lean on each other through thick and thin. I don't think it comes around very often and a lot of the time, people who say they are in love are in "lust".. but it does exist. The problem with our society is that a lot of people come from troubled families, divorced parents, and broken homes, and because of this, they don't know how to work through problems and instead bail at the first sign of trouble. If you want a loving monogamous relationship you have to both be working toward the same things and have similar core values or chances are it will never work. It also helps for both people to come from families and environments that are supportive of monogamy. We are a result of our environment, if you come from a broken home, odds are you are going to repeat your parents mistakes (not always) but very often.
I also believe that there is a strong difference between 'love' and 'commitment'. Love is born from commitment but it doesn't necessarily die when that commitment is no longer there. Love is a deep appreciation for someone; someone you don't necessarily have to know or know well. For instance, we may love our close friends because they have stuck with us all these years and have helped create great memories that can be cherished for the rest of our lives, and it's likely they have those same feelings. Romantic love isn't much different. In reference to the different types of human to human relationships, interdependent relationships I believe are the foundations of love, for they include the commitment that independent relationships lack and throw out the blind desire that dependent relationships have. Desire can be mistaken for love and that's why many people may realize later that they never really loved that person.
With that being said, Love does exist, but it's a choice. I think its a combination of chemistry, friendship, and hard work. All relationships get boring but to finding a person who you connect with on a physical, emotional and spiritual level is rare.
Monogamy is not for everyone, but for many people monogamy is great and there is nothing weak about it as long as you aren't settling for the sake of avoiding loneliness. If I had to define love I guess I would say "A deep admiration, respect, and connection towards someone". Love is not magic, it's built, and if you're not ready to construct something so beautiful, then it's not for you.